Museveni Reveals Retirement Plans After Attending Mandela's Memorial

Kampala, December 12, 2013-President Yoweri Museveni returned home after Mandela funeral and immediately called his top political and army advisers where he dropped the bombshell:

“I’m going home, I din’t realize just how the world has changed, till I went to South Africa,” said Museveni to the shocked members of his inner cabinet.

“There will be no other rap,” he quipped.

During the last elections, Museveni, popularly known as Ssebo, had developed a rap campaign song: ‘Do you want another rap?’

But he had more.

 “I have travelled a lot in Africa and abroad, I do not want Uganda to be like our neighbour with retired presidents so old they can no longer run a kilometer, I thank comrades in the army and the NRM, we saved Uganda from a savage and we must now look from aside” reports the Red Pepper, Uganda’s authoritative newspaper.

The image of world presidents trooping to Uganda seemed to have left a powerful imprint in one of the remaining ‘strongmen’ of Africa. However, If opposition politician Kizza Besigye thought he would rise easily, he was in for a rude shock.

“But this country is not a medical laboratory. No, not even when i’m gone will comrades let the vision of the revolution and NRM fall to the stooges,” said Museveni in an indirect allusion to Besigye who is a medical doctor by training.

Later, when asked about Barack Obama’s speech about leaders who kill dissent ‘by their own people’ while feeling sorry for the passing of Madiba, Museveni said Obama ‘exaggerated the situation’, saying no current African leader has problems with opposition leaders.

“He likes talking in parables. . .in New York, that’s what I told him, Africa’s problems are too complex for them. He exaggerates situations in Africa.

“He was just taking photos,” he added, then entered his motorcade and swirled off!

Kenya Today